As a parent, I believe we often dream about a magic wand that we could use every now and then to teach us the best way to be one. Or at least a manual, to strive and survive, guide us and solve the many events we would go through, in this amazing journey.
As I once read, “it will not be the easiest, but will be the greatest” to do in every way!
Knowing on the way, that is a whole balance about what they need, what you want, what you think, what really is.
And you also realize that all those comments that you have been listening to, specially your own parent’s ones, are true!
You get to that point in where you have to admit that they were said for a reason, and with enough reason.
Every day is a journey, every time counts, every example is a set, every laugh makes you the happiest or every tear hurts like hell.
“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today”Barbara Johnson
This means so much! Yet is the easiest and hardest nowadays important thing to do for them.
Busy schedules, working parents, etcetera struggle with these issues every day.
But everything is worth it. Every single thing on the way.
But adding a cherry to the top of this delicious cake, technology has arrived stronger than ever to their and our lives.
These “connected” generations, definitely come programmed in a different way. Even so, the basic stuff remains the same core.
I believe that even when no one can actually manage to have a magic wand or parenting manual to raise our beloved ones, there are helpful ways and guides to make it easier and feel accompanied.
It was important for me, also to name and explain the off line and on line part of our children. Because this new era, demands a double education when it comes to our children.
Here are the “10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know”.
United parents make a better front;
Even though we respect our better-half’s individuality, when it comes to raising our kids, it is imperative to maintain a united front. We better expose our beliefs, thoughts and methods to carry out our children in a common way. And when is needed to discuss some disagreement, it is recommended to do it privately to get a solution and then show an agreed behaviour.
Let them know they matter;
As mentioned before, our times, are busy times, when most of both parents need to work. This is a reality. But being in their lives is something crucial. They need to know, how they matter. Let them know that the time you spend with them, you are there. Forget about the rest of your tasks, that moment with them, is very important.
Have you ever experienced when they turn your head with their little hands, to actually look for your sight? Look you in the eye? Well, that is one of the many ways they get to let you know they need your attention.
Discipline, instead of punishing;
“Discipline is helping a child to solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retributions”.L.R. Knost.
Children that are able to find solutions, take responsibilities and accept the consequences.
Solve mistakes and be aware of avoiding repeating them.
Teach them empathy;
Empathy should be something we embrace in every way. Our children should know that when empathize, they are able to be in someone else’s shoes. To feel in a way what the other is experiencing. And for that, they are not indiferent to either help, support, understand, think and share.
That is also a better way to solve conflicts from an early age.
Let’s protect our children’s childhood;
It may sound exagerated, but please, let them be kids! We let preassure to win, when we are eager for them to grow up before their time. It is like if we were in a rush for them to be ready to either go, grow, experience, be by their own, not demanding time and enjoy by themselves.
They are children and we even expect them to act like adults in such a tender age. They and we are and kids only once in a life time.
We have plenty of time to face so many things when we become adults, and childhood is a short one.
Be smart on what you post;
In this inevitable era, social media is something our children will come across at one point. It is important to explain them and also to educate them on the importance of posting something that will stay there and have an impact. Internet is forever, and although everything becomes viral and then vanishes, the damage of something post irresponsibly will remain in our children’s file. Not to mention the dangers of hackers, kidnappers, etcetera.
Patches and updates are important;
Takes few minutes, but will garantee the maintenance of your child’s devices, which is crtical when it comes to the online health. Unpatched devices, is something, hackers or bad actors count on people to make them more vulnerable to attack.
Keep this in mind.
Internet is important, but so are their lives;
Online classes, video games, homework, evidence, support material, a way to communicate and so on, is a scenario of our kids lives.
They have learned the importance of internet, they even are very aware of this.
But not everything comes to this. They need to understand a way of living and manage living without this. What they do with their lives is extremely important. Having a life outside that ciber- world will prepare them for their own journey.
Encourage information sources in an offline mode;
Meaning that even though it is practical and usefull to have an in hand information, meanings, concepts, methods, etcetera, they will be amazed of the ways they can actually research for information by themselves. From books, dictionaries, magazines, files, samples and so many more sources to explore and learn.
Again, it is a practical and usefull aid to have most of the information from any kind of searcher; but their creativity is a wild field! Their brains are waiting and willing to experience, search and learn with things they need to figure out. Let’s exercise that part of a children’s nature. Let’s avoid use the expected program or pattern or template to create something. Let’s bring their brains to a place they know, creation and individual development!
You discover yourself repeating most of your parents routines. You realise why everything now makes sense. You laugh inside when you remember the cliches. You respect what you once disrespected. You fear the same our parents feared. You expect for the best . You learn in a whole new way…
This is parenting, it is an unforgettable journey that is worth every track of the way!
All photos by Little Big Shots.