Relationships, like some people, like to say, are complicated or not. Like others refer to them, were so different back then.
But the bottom line is that relationships, no matter the gender, the likes and dislikes, the preferences or intentions need to work. Being enthusiastic about it is not only human but amazing. The power in them is either amazing or sometimes catastrophic, romantic or idyllic… but always a thrill.
Being Solo Polyamory is a way to practice non-monogamy relationships when someone has intimate relationships with multiple partners but still lives a single lifestyle. It does not mean that someone is unable or no longer willing to have a sexual or romantic relationship at all. Or that they are afraid of commitment or being selfish or inconsiderate.
Basically has to do with the fact that has to be about their desires and philosophy when it comes to relationships and how, to be honest about it.
It is healthy, fair, and respectful to know that they think of themselves as their primary commitment, it is not in their desire to get married or live with a partner or any other stages when it comes to the “relationship escalator” or steps. They focus on their personal growth, hobbies, career, mental health then on a romantic relationship, and friendships are as important as romantic relationships.
So, if we could number the ways how to navigate solo polyamory as informative, comment, or perspective or as a view to clarify and maybe help you out at the beginning of this path, this would be a list on how to do so:
1. One Step at a Time:
Set a comfortable pace to explore. Avoid the rush of the moment, the excitement of it, and inform yourself to make sure it is what you desire, first of all.
2. Find Out your Relationship Structure:
One date? Other solo-polyamory folks, couples in other relationships?… Make sure to have options on the table and be completely sure to evaluate them.
3. Be Comfortable and Independent:
Be positive and sure about feeling ok with being independent and alone. There will probably be a lot of occasions when you might have to be without a partner or partners, depending on the kind of company you chose.
4. Honest and Open Always:
Communication always! What you are expecting, what they are expecting, what you really desire, and please be aware to listen too. Be open about your beliefs and listen to your partner’s as well.
5. Be Responsible:
Remember that yes, it is your life and also your choices, and you certainly do not have to justify them to anyone, or even provide excuses and hide and live a hell out of this because of how you choose to live, but you do have a responsibility of taking care of yourself and others, as well as setting realistic expectations to you and the ones entering to your life.
6. Get Educated:
This goes into creating a healthy environment for you and your partners. Read and do not be afraid to ask or speak to people who already live like this or have experienced it.
7. Pros and Cons:
Even when it might sound cold or controlled, it is important to understand the pros and cons of your decisions and options. This way you will get to know privileges for both sides as well as protect from any emotional harm.
8. Protect Yourself:
Not only your feelings but your body as well. Always keep in mind to protect yourself so that way you make sure your partners are protected as well. Don’t be afraid to ask for protection and use it, it will be a safe and healthy environment for both sides and avoid diseases.
9. Off the “Relationship Escalator”:
According to society, it could be possible you get cold feet when you get to hear what you are “missing” in this matter. But being sure and authentic of who you are or need will give you the best perspective to know for sure if you are actually missing something or nothing at all.
10. Your take:
Whether you decide to go for it and totally enjoy it, or back off and be fine with it, keep in mind that it is your journey. You own this and it is entirely your responsibility to seek and find happiness and make your life and effort worth it!
It is not our intention to take a side or to tell someone what or not to do, but to give a view or perspective to be informed and enjoy the decision that only corresponds to you. Take a dive, inform yourself, take good care of yourself and others and everything will come into place to the best of all!